Can a sista' get a break!? I am in need of a break. Not that the boys have been bad at all but sometimes it just seems like once you become a mom there is NO time to just check out and really get a break, a rest, a little bit of a sabbatical. I am probably feeling this way because I have a new baby, and I distinctly remember feeling a bit "trapped" (for lack of a better term) after having Lincoln. I felt like I didn't ever leave the house and when I did it had to be in a mad stormed rush in order to fit the outing in between nursing. I am feeling that again. I don't get out, don't see people, and I just don't get to take a break. I know that it took me a while to get back into the usual schedule of not only being a mom but also being a friend, sister, and daughter but, can I say, that I think it might take me a while longer with two kids to get back to that spot. That simple fact has me feeling a bit discouraged. I am ready to get a full night's sleep. I am ready to be able to go to the at home parties my friends are throwing. I am ready to go shopping without leaking breast milk all over my shirt and I am ready to go to church and sit through a whole sermon without having to move into the Library with my boys.
I know this stage of life is SO short and so precious, I really do. But some days it feels like I am the farthest thing away from really living life... it feels like I am trudging through. My boys are amazing and growing so fast. I guess I should really be focusing on living life as it is right now. I guess I should, for this phase of life, suspend wishing for the future to come because it makes me less appreciative of my life as it is. Being a mom is hard. It is constant. It doesn't include breaks. It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. It is the BEST thing I have ever done. It makes life worth living and on some days worth just trudging through. Thank you God for giving me the gift of motherhood. Please help me to appreciate it throughout the many ups and downs.
Okay I am done whining :0)
3 comments:
I am soooo glad I am not the only one! Hang in there!
Soon you can just ship them off to auntie's house for a couple of days! :)
Dude. You've totally just posted what EVERY honest mom is really feeling. And if someone says differently, they're lying. It's easy to say I never felt that way NOW, but when I take time to look back and remember going thru everything you're going thru right now? I totally totally totally understand! I LOVE the newborn stage of my babies' lives, but I HATE the post-pregnant MOM stage that lasts until they're at least one. Sometimes longer. Ugh. :) You're doing awesome though, and your kids are amazing! Truly rad little men!
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