Prepare for a Lesson

I have been writing this post for about a week and a half, praying about when/whether to share and I hope it will be beneficial to some of you in some way :0)

So my posts have been a little heavier than normal lately and all for good cause, molding and shaping my life to become a more God-centered woman. In sharing the lessons I am learning I feel a sense of accountability to all of you out there, to check my work and make sure I am on the right track. So please feel free to email, comment or otherwise if you have another view on what I am learning.

Now to the issue at hand, still pride. In my Bible study this week we did a whole lesson on the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22) and among the hardest for me to truly understand and impliment are two of the most fundamental, Love and Kindness. What is Biblical Love? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives us a VERY tall order. It is patient, kind, not jealous, does not brag, is not arrogant, acts becomingly; does not seek it's own, is not provoked, does not keep track of wrongs, rejoices in righteousness and truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. LOVE NEVER FAILS! I recognize so many aspects of my life that are the opposite of love and not in a way that people would necesarilly recognize or point out but in ways that creep into my life, sneeky ways that I don't notice until they have built a barrier between me and true Love.Without love one cannot proceed to exemplify joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self control. It is so hard for me to love, truly love in the biblical sense everyone and I get so frustrated. I know that I can't love everyone, that I need to continually give it over to God asking him to help me but that self sufficient mindset just keeps getting in my way! Not only that but my sin nature is strong headed, why can't I just stop having bad thoughts or desiring to be better than others. Why do I get so caught up in envy, irritation, bitterness, revenge, jealousy, and hostility? I know that these things will not lead to biblical love but they still seep into my life. It is my inability to Love that allows my pride to take over. In order to love I have to avoid becoming concieted and envious (Galations 5:26), I have to take a few steps back from my ambition which can lead to jealousy, I need to develop meekness in the truest sence of the word. To be meek is to be the opposite of hot headed. It is an indulgence toward the week and erring. It is patient in suffering without feeling a spirit of revenge. It is having an even balance of all tempers and passions. It is also a tall order :0)


In the realm of kindness I have so much to learn. Someone once said "kindness is the oil that takes the friction out of life" and not that I experience that much friction but in the past couple of years I have encountered some. It has been SO beneficial to have people in my life that are difficult, without them I wouldn't be this on fire for wisdom and Biblical knowledge. I count them all as huge blessings! Back to kindness, I have often held back the kind words or thoughts of encouragement because of several things. I am selfish... there I admit it :0) I often have this internal thought process that assesses the "worthiness" of the person about whom I have encouraging thoughts for and if I judge them to be arrogant and self righteous I will withhold that encouragement. This is NOT biblical kindness! In Acts 20:20 Paul says;


"You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught publicly from house to house..."


He NEVER held back encouragement and help and neither should I. So watch out here comes the encouragement waggon! Whenever I think a nice thought I will not censor it for my audience, it will come out and hopefully will bless that person and if it doesn't or if it causes other sin in their life ie: pride, arrogance, I will not give thought to it. I will do my part and let the Lord do his (James 4:6, Proverbs 16:5). I will express a kind spirit that willingly obey's God's commands.



Another word that has come up in my studies that I have had a serious misconception about is Humility. There are several greek words used in the Bible for humility and most mean similar things. 'Anawa, which means gentleness, affliction and to be bowed down is a commonly used word for humility . I always think of humility in the way that the ancient greek philosophers thought of it as inadequacy, lack of dignity and worthiness but again the Biblical definition is not that. Biblical humility recognizes that we are inadequate alone. True humility doesn't produce pride but poduces gratitude. It is not belittling but it exaults others through praise and encouragement! There is that encouragement thing again! To quote Nelson's concordance, Humility is "a freedom from arrogance that grows out of the recognition that all we have and are comes from God". It considers God first and realizes that we have no merit in his eyes therefore we must consider others above ourselves. This is not a popular concept in our society but that shouldn't stop us from following Christ's example (Mark 10:45, Phil. 2:5, Matt 11:29 etc.).



This post may seem belittling or a bit down hearted and not in a spirit of humility but trust me I don't feel down hearted or belittled by sharing these things. I am seeking the truth and in order to do so I need to also accept where I am falling short and work on it. I have to get over that initial hump of realization in order to move forward, developing these skills further in my life. I know that I am not alone in many of these trials and by searching out the characteristics of a Godly woman I am learning SO much and discovering SO much about who God made me to be and who the world has influenced me to be. I want to shed that worldy skin and become the person I was truly created to be. I want to be one who loves.


There is so much more I could share, so many more aspects to this whole study and so many more lessons learned but I'll stop there for now. So, Amber here is that "I always share too much" post I was talking about :0)