BIG changes

Have I ever mentioned that I hate change! As of right now my child is sleeping in a queen size bed, in a room known as "the BIG boy room" with no night lights and no crib rails to keep him company for the very first time. This is BIG! I finally got most of the "storage" out of Lincoln's new room and transferred his clothes into the closet just this afternoon. I have been waiting to transition him into "the room" until it didn't feel like, well, a storage closet. I absolutely love my home but I do wish we had a space for my crafting supplies... they seem to get shoved into whatever corner is free at the time whether it be in the rafters of the shop or beneath a bed, it is rarely ever convenient. BUT that is a small price to pay for my little boy to get his very own big boy bed :0) I am, dare I say, on the verge of crying at this milestone. I have been on the verge of crying every time I think about bringing this new baby home and totally turning Lincoln's little world upside down. I know it will be a huge blessing in his life to have a brother but I can't help but feel a sense of guilt and sadness for Lincoln because this new baby will mean BIG changes for him. Changes like being more of a role model and learning to share pretty much everything. Changes like giving up his high chair and moving to a booster, sharing mommas lap and attention which is likely to be the most difficult. I would be lying if I said there haven't been moments when I asked myself what am I doing? I can't have another kid, how will I love them both the same? How will I divide my time evenly so that no one gets over or under loved? How will I protect my little baby Lincoln from all of the changes that are sure to follow little Chester 2.0's entrance into the world? UG! It's overwhelming but the truth is I can't shield Lincoln from having to learn how to share... he's gotta' learn, I want him to learn. I can't keep him from the unfortunate truth that he isn't the only human being on the planet and the world doesn't revolve around him. So as I sit typing, my eyes heavily glazed with tears, I just hope that in all of this transition, in all of the change that Lincoln is secure in my love for him and that this new baby will find his spot in our family and learn that security too. And for now we are celebrating Lincoln sleeping in his BIG BOY BED!